new growth

Sun, Water and Sand

He is the Bainbridge I love

So it has been about 3 weeks now that we have been on the island living with my parents. I am pleasantly surprised at how nice it is to have the opportunity to get to know my parents again. My Dad in particular. Here is a little picture into the person he is.

Last week he wanted to clear out the dandelions that had gone to seed (turned to puff balls) but didn't want to spread the seeds, so my mom suggested putting a garbage bag over the tops of them and cutting the stems. My dad had a better idea. He marched himself outside with a long extension cord and his beloved shop vac and sucked the tops off every one of those weeds till his garden was safe from future generations of the prolific yellow impostor.

A number of years ago my parents remodeled their kitchen and instead of spending the extra money to get fashionable appliances they waited till the original ones died before they put in new ones. So we're upstairs and the dishwasher door is locked and I said, "Oh are these dishes clean?"
My dad says, "Well you'll have to check and see."
"But the door is locked..."
"It's broken. It falls open if you don't lock it."
"Then you can finally complete the remodel and get a new dishwasher!"
"The machine is operational, it just has a broken door, and if my biggest problem in life is a perfectly good dishwasher that has a broken door I would say I'm doing all right."

Today Josh is cleaning out the storage shed on the property and separating the huge wood pile into burnable, buildable and garbage. So he asks my dad to go through the piles and make sure he hasn't "miscategorized" anything. My dad says, "Well we don't want to burn anything that is at all processed because that will affect the air quality. So put the stuff you can't burn back in the shed and I'll get rid of it the way I did the bathtub."
When my parents remodeled the upstairs bathroom they ripped out the fiberglass tub/shower and instead of spending money to haul it to the dump my dad put all the pieces in the shed and week by week broke it down and put what he could fit into his garbage can for the local pickup.

I'm discussing back pain with my dad and he says he tried really hard not to lift any of our furniture, while helping us move in, alone, and yet his back still feels strained. I asked what other activities he had recently done that could have caused this. He said he thought about that on the ferry that morning and remembered that he checked the air pressure in his tires (car) a couple of days ago. I asked how that could strain his back and he said the pump at the gas station doesn't go high enough for the recommended pressure on his tires, so he pumped them up himself, by hand, with a bike pump. He wants to make sure to get the best fuel efficiency from his car. (Josh mentioned that he has a construction grade air compressor that he could use next time.)

I'm not sure what else to say other than he may sound cheap and at times I have definitely thought that about him, but the more I think about it, he is a really good steward of the things he's been given, and is not at all afraid of what other people think of him. Living on Bainbridge Island has a way of making you want to keep up with the Jones', but not for my dad. He is a true conservationist at heart. Why pay for something you can get for free with a little hard work and patience? So forget the yuppie Bainbridge you thought you might know, or even the hippie Bainbridge you might remember, cause my dad isn't either. He is the Bainbridge I love and will always associate with home.

Peas and Carrots

Daddy says "no playing with your peas and carrots."

More old work

I like to move it..move it..(not really)

Hey so moving this weekend huh? Ya really fun and great. I watched (due to apathy and exhaustion last night) "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" And thankfully yes, I am. The contestant however was really pushing the limits. His shining moment was when he identified the outline of the state of Nebraska and was positive that he was right cause that is where he grew up or something. (The answer is in the question if you ask me...) So we are off to the island lifestyle and if I didn't manage to get you our new info leave your request in the comment section and I'll send you an email. My email address and such is staying the same, so that is a good way to get a hold of us too. We will really miss being in Seattle and strangely enough it feels more like home than returning to my roots does at this point. Lots to think about and process. More on that later. Better go... Josh is on auto pilot and taping up the box Eli is sitting in. Not really. ...

Thankful for the little things...

Rambling Brambles

I'm thankful for good friends in my life. This last weekend my dear friends Sarah and Matt came out from Wisconsin for the first time since they moved there in June of last year and it was like they had never left. It is nice to be known for who you are while being encouraged to be more. Not because who you are isn't good enough, but because who you're becoming is part of a divine plan. We talked about the struggle to keep walking when you don't know where you're going and the discipline it takes to remain on that road when it is hard. I think a big part of remaining on the road is the people around you. I had a really honest discussion with another friend this evening that reminded me to give people second chances (including myself). That grace often seems available to everyone else, but so hard to receive.

We went to a sort of impromptu wedding this weekend and it was beautiful to see how everyone pulled together to make it beautiful and special for the couple in the midst of family crisis. That is what the body of Christ should be. People coming together to make a really good party happen for other people who are hurting and then everyone just having a good time. I thought about if the wedding had been mine would I have been able to let it go and allow people to help me that way and you never know how you would really be in a situation, but I think it would be hard for me to ask for help like that. Watching it from the outside though was so healing to be able to believe that God can work through broken messed up people and situations to bring love and grace into people's lives.

My friend Anna Marie came over today and our plan was to paint together and instead we ended up going through a lot of my old work. She encouraged me to take pictures and send them out to see if I can get them shown. And I have felt so defeated as an artist lately that to have her extend grace to me by offering to help even with a little thing like that I felt renewed and hopeful that this road isn't totally endless with no viewpoints.

So before this wedding there was a shower for the bride sort of last minute and of course being last minute I didn't have a chance to buy anything so I made something instead. I made a small box that had a saying in it and I should probably take my own advice. (Stay with me this is going somewhere) Inside it said "Love is a scenic ride over a rocky trail" (cowboy poetry excerpt) and there was a small rock in the box. I wrote in the card that when the trail gets rocky use the rocks to build an alter. Alters remind us of the places we've been and the places that God has brought us out of. So I suppose that friends are sort of makeshift alters in our lives. They remind us of the people we are and the people we're becoming.

Cleaning out the Closets

These are paintings that haven't seen the light of day in a while. I am cleaning out the closets for moving and decided to take some decent pictures of them. I am reminded of how much I love skin when I see them.

Elias has started eating solid foods. .. Sort of . .. He spits them out mostly and as usual I was there with my camera.

This is my Mom. (and my brothers) It is her birthday. Anyone reading this should email her today and tell her your favorite song and why in a short gramatically correct paragraph. You can reach her at caron.cardenschool@bainbridge.net Happy Birthday Mom. We love you.

Too Much Laundry

So I guess Eli is as tired of laundry as I am. He fell asleep in this pile while I was folding it. It doesn't surprise me. Falling asleep in a warm pile of laundry is right up there with a bathtub full of jello. It's the little things.

I feel a bit like a potted plant

So for those of you who don't know team Brouwer is relocating to Bainbridge Island at the end of April. We will be moving into my parent's basement apartment and hopefully saving a fistful of money to buy a house in approximately a year. I like to look at it in a few different ways depending on my mood.

One way to look at it is that it is very normal in probably 90% of the rest of the world to live with your parents or extended family and so our move will be very European.

Another way of looking at it is that we're taking an extended "retreat" at an Island getaway that happens to be considerably less expensive than our current living situation.

But today I've been feeling a bit like a potted plant. I seem to move from doorstep to doorstep and windowsill to windowsill never really putting roots in the ground. I've stayed in Seattle long enough for my pot to grow some moss on the edges, but inside that safe little pot my roots are growing more and more cramped. They are curling and twisting back on themselves and I'm not sure how much more transition this little pot can take.

God called his people Hebrews. The word Hebrew means wanderer. Jesus was homeless. If it is good enough for Jesus it should be good enough for me. God's chosen people complained a lot too. So I've got the wandering and complaining down. Maybe I need some mulch. I'm mixing my metaphors. Yikes. I'm excited for change and scared for change. I told my friend Cindi today that I'm on strike with God and that negotiations aren't going well. She said that God has a lot of grace for new mothers. Let's hope so. I am beginning to just write whatever is going through my head. I'm not sure it matters, cause I don't think anyone really reads this. So if you are reading this help us fight spammers and retype the characters you see here..... just jokin'. I can't think of a witty way to bring it all together. So that is why I'm a painter and not a writer. That's it.

Sketchbook bits

Here are some sketches from my journal. Some are old and some aren't. I'm trying out different ways of working in my journal for an upcoming workshop that I am teaching and it seems very apparent when I'm trying to be someone other than myself. Let's see if you can tell which ones I'm talking about.

I run like Jonah

So this is a little study I did about a week or so ago and it isn't much but reminds me of my love for paint. I think I'm trying too hard to make other things work and when I just sit down and paint everything seems to make sense. Eli has been fighting sleep these days and it's funny watch him in a way because he is so tired and needs a nap so that he can be happy and rested again, but just doesn't want to give in. I can see now why God calls us children, because as a parent I can look at him and know his needs, and want to give to him for his betterment. But I can't give him things he won't take. Maybe that is reaching as an analogy for why I should be painting, but I do think God knows us and how he made us. My friend Dawn said, "James you're running like Jonah, and look what happened to him..he got swallowed by a whale." It is lent and I can't think of what I should give up. I almost think I need to take on a discipline instead of abstaining from something so that I am faced with my sin and have to set it before God. Painting makes me do that. Maybe that is why I've been running.

Painting Experiment

Meaning

So I'm wondering how much meaning has to be in the image. I think there is inherent meaning in each piece I do, but I can't always verbalize it. These images are almost a year old, but when clicking through them this evening, they jumped out at me. The editing isn't too complicated, but they remind me of how I want to paint. Everyone I've been talking to says I need to start painting again. I'm affraid to paint, because if people ask about my image, I may not have a BFA worthy answer. My work always seems to point to where I am in my own journey. Some may call it confessional, maybe it's just intuative. I know I need to get over all that and just paint, but "What do I paint?" and "Why?" seem to be the questions getting in the way right now. Funny how these images seem to say that also ... see what I mean? (no pun intended)

New Endeavors

So I can't figure out how to put a youtube window on my blog and I know it is possible, and I tried to cut and paste the HTML, but that didn't work so I am listing the link to my new video on youtube. It is just a practice for editing and effects, but it was fun to make. It is a minute and a half, and took like 3 days to make. Anyway... Check it out and if anyone knows how I can put the actual video on here let me know. The title is "painting experiment" by Jamie Brouwer and it is at www.youtube.com. Good luck and tell me what your thoughts are.

My work seems to be shifting

These days I have great intentions of getting up to the studio to work during nap time, but rarely does it pan out. I have however been taking lots of photos of you know who and although it could be trite because he is my son, I kindof think alot of people make photography into a real viable art career. It is not really what I'm thinking of doing, but it pacifies my frustration as a creative outlet for the time. I am including these photos as "portraits" and not just pictures of my baby. Some people say portraiture is dead, but I guess I have always been drawn to it, and right now I am just using a different medium. Let me know what you think and perhaps what you would like to see more of. I'm intending to start painting again because I haven't done a straight painting in a long time, and I am stuck with the boxes for the moment. I always love feedback, so throw it out there if you have any.

Happy New Year

Happy New year from team Brouwer! Here we are at the Washington Coast on New Year's Eve. Eli got his first glimps of the Pacific Ocean. (I think he actually slept the whole time.)
I have been working on some photos lately and am seeing where that takes me.

My Best Work Ever

So here it is. My best work ever. Born Oct. 26. 8lbs. 3oz. 47 hours of labor. Eliason Alexander.

ReStore Recycled Art Show

I have 2 pieces in the recycled art show at ReStore in Ballard. It is going from Oct. 14- Nov. 14 and gallery hours are 3-6pm Wed. -Sat. There is an opening on 10.20.06 from 7-12pm although I won't be there that long for sure. Last year was pretty fun and this year seems to have even better work. More information and images can be found at www.re-store.org/recycledartshow-seattle.

School Pictures

This last week I had the chance to take the school pictures for the beloved Carden Country School. If you want to take a peek, go to www.ofoto.com. If you click view and edit photos and put in my email address iwashomeschooled@hotmail.com and then type the password, Carden you can see what I've posted so far. I'm doing some retakes this week, but some of them are pretty cute. Let me know what you think.

Buoyancy

Leavenworth on Labor Day weekend.

Photoshop Attempts

So I recently received Photoshop CS 2 from my dear husband for my birthday and have been working on updating my digital portfolio. Here are some of my archiving attempts.

What if I let go?

Here is a box I've recently finished. ( I think) It stems from a discussion I had with my midwife about the roles of parents and children and the opportunity children have to show their parents the gospel. My pastor was discussing this fairly controversial subject and said as children we know the most intimate details of our parents sin and can either condemn them or offer them grace. It is a challenging position to be in but it is what God calls us to do when he asks us to "honor" them. The interior is comprised mostly of items given to me by my grandmother and adds to the passing down of treasures and trials alike.

Tweet Dreams...gag

This is the end of the crib I've been "refinishing". I got the idea from a set of prints a friend gave me to decorate the baby's room. I thought, "Well why not make my own?" Materials include maps, fabric scraps, ribbon scraps and buttons. (of course)

I'll fly away

These are some photos I took this fall for a friend's anniversarry. He comissioned them as an etching, but they ended up as a digital heat transfer instead. After I manipulated them I transfered them onto BFK rives paper. Birds are pretty hip right now, and I hesitated at the prospect of making a trendy piece, but after these came out I was really happy with them. Birds sitting on a wire have an emotional appeal to me. They are something able to up and leave and yet they rest. I have a difficult time doing that. I think that is why I envy them so much.