24,25.

24. Little boys with long eyelashes and mischievous looks in their eyes.

25. Seeing someone having fun totally uninhibited.

23.

So apparently I got it all wrong.  I've finally gotten to read more of the book because I finished the other book I've been reading that had to go back to the Library.  It was, on a side note, called "The Midwife's Confession" and was very good.
Anyway now I'm dedicated to 1000 Gifts and feeling simply nourished by it.    It seems as though I am getting too specific with things that are over arching and need explanation.
The author of 1000 gifts begins her list with simple things that she is enjoying in her day.  The way the light hits the wood planks of floor in her bedroom.  The way her kid's lisp sounds at dinnertime prayer.  I think I'm stressing out about how to write something profound and insightful about each "gift" when instead I should be absorbing joy in my thanksgiving.
So i will continue my log, but with new freedom and simplicity.  I could add a paragraph afterwards or just have a few words.  That is one thing Ann Voskamp does beautifully.  She paints word pictures with tiny phrases that tell a whole story or show a whole landscape.  Obviously I would recommend the book.
SO here is 23.
23. holding sweet, sticky, little hands after picking berries on our wooded trail.

Number 22

So we are now at entry numbers instead of days cause I am so behind.  I am thankful that I can make up whatever rules I want cause it is my game.  :)  Not really... I mean yes, really, but that is not number 22.
I would say that I am thankful for the freedom to struggle.
A friend of mine has a prayer that he likes to say that goes, "I believe, help my unbelief."  That is where I have been lately.  I know what I believe, but I am still skeptical and still hesitant and still cynical.  That is why I need to document the gratitude.  Gratitude combats all that.  It makes the blessing real and acknowledged.  I am facing many of my looming inadequacies and I want to run and hide, but the challenge is waring them down and strapping power from them before they do it to you.  I'm not sure how that happens, but I do believe that gratitude has something to do with it.  I'll let you know when I have it all figured out.  But don't hold your breath, cause I'm pretty sure the other piece of it is that it takes a long time and that it is the point of the time.

Day 21

I am thankful for routine.  I know when I'm in the midst of routine I don't want it and I get bored, but when there is wild havoc every day I miss it.

Day 20... only 80 to go

I am losing my motivation and that makes me sad.  What does that mean?  It means I'm busy and preoccupied.  What does it mean in the grander scheme of things?  It still means that I'm busy and preoccupied, but on a deeper level as well.  If I can't be still in a day long enough to find gratitude in things that are more important than, "gee I'm thankful for my email..."  or whatever then what is my heart doing?  It is shriveling up that is what it is doing.  Slowing down doesn't seem like an option a lot of the time, but as fall approaches and a new routine emerges I am going to consciously put time in for quiet and meditation.  So I suppose I am thankful for seasons.  I don't want summer to end partly cause it hasn't really started weather wise, but also because it is a built in rhythm for our lives.

Day 19

It is getting hard to keep up.  I am sure I am days behind and feeling rotten about how I made this comitment and can't even do it for two straight weeks with out biffing it.  I am thinking a lot about forgiveness and what it looks like in different scenarios and finding it very difficult to grasp onto in a lot of ways.  So I suppose I am thankful that I am not responsible for "figuring it out" in order for it to work.  In that light if there are any readers out there, be patient with my inconsistencies.  Maybe you could even forgive me... that is... if you have it figured out.