As our dear Dentist says though, when I tell him all this, "People avoid making dental appointments cause they think they will either be painful or expensive and the longer you wait the more BOTH of those things will be true." Wow. Thanks.
Let me give you some background on my dental history.
Age 7: Overbite and Structural Crowding of the Teeth as well as a slight Speech Impediment due to finger sucking
RETAINER
Age 12: (Same symptoms with out the speech impediment)
Braces to fix what the retainer couldn't.
Age 13: (Same symptoms as well as a jaw popping)
Head gear to fix what the braces couldn't.
Age 14: New beautiful straight teeth in the places that they should
RETAINER
Age 14: Retainer cracked and was never replaced, so teeth became crooked again
Dad pretty despondent that he wasted 2k on my lousy teeth
Age 19: Wisdom teeth out
Zanax and Vikoden for anxiety and pain.. BEST experience of my life. LOTS of drugs made oral surgery a pleasure.
Age 23: Dental Cleaning 1 week before my wedding
Age 27: First visit to new dentist and only dentist since age 23
Grinds Teeth needs night guard. Has almost worn through enamel
Age 28: Flossing and lost piece of something out of mouth
Fractured tooth- FILLING
All of this is just the bullet points of a long sordid relationship I've had with my own mouth. I hate my teeth and I hate my smile and I hate anyone looking at either of them. I also hate spending money so none of this is boding well for a good relationship with the dentist. I had seen the same dentist since I was 8 years old until the week before my wedding and he was as good as one could expect a dentist to be. He actually would have someone call me when I got home from an appointment and ask how I was doing cause I would get so psyched out. When I moved back to the island a couple of years ago I decided to have a cleaning since we had insurance again. Unfortunately my dear and familiar dentist had retired.
Thus began the search for a new dentist. Everyone at our church said oh there is this guy who attends here and he is so good blah blah blah and I thought no way in hell am I going to see a guy about my teeth who I go to church with. So I looked up the dentist that my best friend had gone to all her childhood and whose secretary had been my best friend's mother for a few years. I thought that would be fairly safe.
So I set up an appointment with him after I haven't seen a dentist in 5 years or something and I have 4 cavities and 2 "watches". He already doesn't like me. But he should cause I am paying his mortgage this month with all the work I need done. I tell him that Taylor Brown is my best friend and he doesn't really care and then starts this monologue about insurance companies and the need for reform and I'm a captive audience. So as I'm leaving I try to muster a bit of self esteem by explaining that I haven't been in for a check up because I haven't had insurance and that is when he lays the aforementioned quote on me. He is totally unimpressed with my excuse and basically says it is my own fault.
I go back in a year later and have missed my 6 month cleaning because when I was due for it I was so sick with pregnancy that if anyone had put anything in my mouth I would have barfed all over them. So I skipped it. Luckily I didn't have any cavities. Unfortunately I had "the beginings of irreversible damage" to my gums. Because I had morning sickness I didn't floss for quite some time and apparently developed gum disease. He then proceeded to tell me how studies have shown that heart disease is directly related to gum disease and especially now that I have children I need to be thinking about my example that I'm setting and that even if I want to take my life in my own hands I'm not just affecting me, I have others to think about now. I tried to explain morning sickness to him. He said that during pregnancy your body sucks all of the nutrients into the baby and that is the WORST time to be negligent with oral hygiene.
You have to understand that this guy is sort of like the MacGyver dentist. Not in the cool rigs stuff up way, but in the 5 o'clock shadow and flannel shirt kind of way. He also might be recovering from a mullet. He is as you might have guessed fairly blunt, but he is also very knowledgeable. He seems to be the authority on almost anything in fact, and as a dentist working with people who can't talk to you, probably is pretty comfortable with the sound of his own voice. That is why I like him and why I hate him. He isn't your typical Bainbridge Island dentist with a Volvo cross country and 2 kids who are really beautiful and athletic and on the state water polo team. (My old dentist)
So I call him up on Friday cause I realize that I can't make this appointment. And HE answers the phone which totally caught me off guard. I felt like I was breaking up with him. I said it wouldn't work and he said, "Well Jamie, I don't know what to tell you cause we're just booked up this next few weeks." Uhh.. OK? So he passes me off to the secretary who also knows me by my first name and my husbands name and my kids names and my general schedule and asks if Tuesday evening works instead. And I say yes and hang up.
It is Tuesday afternoon and I'm finding myself fidgeting and I realize I'm going to the dentist. I know that he told me I need a night guard and that I am having this problem because I don't have one and he is going to lay into me about it and my no insurance excuse won't impress him and I am a tiny bit pissed with my "fear factor" dentist and hating that I have to go on such a lovely evening to his office. I decide I need an attitude adjustment. So I went out and cut a large bunch of Lavender off our hedge and take it with me to the appointment as a peace offering. Josh thinks this is dumb. It's not. When I get there Nirvana is playing and I think to myself, "He is a total butt rocker and wears flannel shirts." When he calls me back I abruptly say, "I brought you guys some lavender from our garden." I awkwardly hand it to him again with a certain "date" essence and he immediately softens. He takes a deep breath smelling it and looks me in the eye and thanks me. Not sure how to respond, so I say, "I thought it would make the office smell nice." Lame. Whatever.
As we sit down I mention that I saw him announcing at the 4th of July parade and he said it was his 23rd year in a row.. and that he's never missed a year. That led to his interest and commitment to community and small towns and the idea that neighbors say "Hi" to each other and that HE is the one who numbs his patients up before a filling and takes the x-rays and puts the filling in 
after drilling and works carefully so as not to require a rubber dam so the patient can't speak or even really see cause being a doctor is about knowing people and helping them.
after drilling and works carefully so as not to require a rubber dam so the patient can't speak or even really see cause being a doctor is about knowing people and helping them. He then begins to talk about how he grew up in a small town and that it's main industry was logging and that he went back there this past weekend after not having been there for 7 years and how it is completely devastated. Whole city blocks have been boarded up or leveled and that no one goes out anymore because of gang violence and how people who stayed there are stuck with out any hope for anything better. He said it was so depressing that he had to leave and that on his way home he thought about how thankful he was that he got out when he did and at the same time was sad because he felt like the place where his childhood existed was gone.
The flannel shirts made more sense now. I saw a glimpse of him as a person with a potentially rough childhood and someone who probably had to make it on his own as far as money goes with school and who has a strong work ethic. We talked about how the island has changed and what he was trying to preserve here and what he appreciated about here. I saw that he really does care about his patients and want to make people's lives easier and that being straight with them about their teeth may come off as "fear factor" to me but probably to him he sees it as telling you the truth so that you aren't ignorant and uninformed.
I don't think the lavender changed him, I think it changed me.
Stone Temple Pilots was playing as I left and his parting words to me were, "Well you've got a brand new tooth. Don't go diving into any grape nuts for 24 hours cause you've got structure and shape, but no strength yet. If you damage it and you're lucky it'll shatter into a thousand pieces, the bad news would be if you just crack it and you can't see it and I can't see it and the bacteria goes in there and starts having a party and a year later your tooth is decayed and needs to be replaced all over again. Thanks again for the Lavender."
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