Eli's Ailments in the past 5 weeks

Some of you have been wanting to see a picture of Eli's cast and so here is the laundry list of what my little monkey has "had" in the last month or so.


The broken foot. Notice the unnatural bump below his big toe. Not really a very convincing picture, but let me tell you.. it was definitely broken.

Him sitting in his jammies at 1:30 in the afternoon with his discharge papers and photocopied x-ray in front of the Children's Hospital E. R.

The whole gang was there... Way to go dad! So a day's worth of work missed, plus the bill for the E.R. .... plus the re- check in a week with the primary care doc... hmmm...
Then 2 weeks or so later the fever hits. 103.. for three days.. all he wanted to do was watch movies. Cars to be exact. over and over and over...
So when we got a nice day I said that's it and made him sit outside in the shade of a lovely umbrella and look at books. Notice the ear rubbing. That is his tell. He is sleepy and wanting snuggles.
This tell is a bit more obvious. The one where he cradles the bottle of Motrin and won't go to bed with out it or take his nap without it or get in the car with out it.. Sad.
He's now feeling mostly better except for the nasty greenish yellow nose as shown above. We invited a friend over because sinus infections are going around at their house, so we figured it wouldn't make a difference.

I feel like inviting the nurse from his Pediatrician's office over for dinner cause we've seen her so much lately. Maybe I should.

Here is a letter I wrote to Jonah for his baptism yesterday.

Dear Jonah,

You were 3 days old before you had a name. Your Dad and I went back and forth on what to call you and eventually I won out, cause really anything is better than Nevar. But some people didn’t think it was much better for us to name you after a relatively lousy guy in the Bible. But you’re not named because of who Jonah was in the story. You’re named because of who God was in the story.

When I think about the absurdity in the story of Jonah it reminds me that God has a sense of humor. I doubt Jonah thought so at the time, but that is the beauty of God’s sense of humor. He sees the bigger picture. Our stubbornness is no match for His. Our recklessness is no match for His. Our adamancy is no match for His. But still Jonah ran… and so did God… after Jonah.

Finally from the belly of a big fish Jonah said to God, “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” It took living in fish guts for 3 days for Jonah to recognize the incomparable value of God’s grace. But in the end he did recognize it.

We’ve chosen a verse for you that is our hope for your heart. It comes from John 20:29. “Because you have seen me, you have believed, but blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.”

When you were born, you were blue and limp and not really interested in breathing. As I sat there watching the nurses try to suction out your airway through your tiny, very pursed lips I said, “I think he’s a Jonah”. Fortunately God had a bigger plan for you. You were stubborn, but God is more stubborn. Jonah was stubborn, but God was immovable.

There is a saying, “Smart people learn from their mistakes, and smarter people learn from other people’s mistakes.” As your parents we will make mistakes and we know you will make mistakes. Our prayer is that the mistakes you make will be ones full of integrity; full of you. Don’t run from who God has made you. Don’t try to be someone or something other than his beloved. Don’t try to escape God’s affection. He will make your life very difficult until you rest in His love.

When doubts arise, and they will, when you are scared or reluctant find comfort in the truth that you are named for. Find comfort in the fact that God will go to absurd lengths to call you his own. Hopefully it won’t require anything having to do with a fish.

We love you.

Mama and Daddy

Life wins

It's 2:15 on Thursday afternoon and I'm supposed to be at a funeral right now. I've never been to a funeral and am not in attendance because I threw my back out this week... but that is another story. My dear friend Robyn and my college roommate for some time, lost her little sister last week in a car accident. She was 28 years old with two boys, 1 and 3. The kids weren't in the car, but her husband was; he survived it and she did not. I don't know the details of what happened or when or how but I do know that she was not killed on impact. As I have thought about the situation often since I heard the news, and have found it hard not to personalize it.

I think about how her boys won't remember her at all. I think about my boys and how hard I work for them and how fiercely I love them and how all I am is funneled into their care and nurturing and that I do all of that hoping one day they will feel that love and believe it. I wonder if she had the chance to say good by. I wonder if she was scared knowing that she wouldn't be there to watch them grow up. They won't ever feel how much she has sacrificed for them and given up for them, not in a way that is resentful but in a way that is empty of self and full of joy. They won't know the extent of the love their dad had for her and although they will hear stories, they won't see it, they won't absorb it.

It makes me grateful for each day. It sobers me with the reality of our frailty and smallness. But it also reminds me of the importance and largeness of what we are called to do. As parents, spouses, siblings and children we are called to love and so we do with all our hang ups and hesitations. We move through life with our heads far away from what is real and what is now and occasionally we accomplish through the grace of God a true moment of love in spite of ourselves.

I'm broken hearted for those boys and their father, but I'm also mystified by the way God works. I know life wins. Right now it doesn't seem like it and I don't know how it will for Robyn, but I know that it will.